Using anger wisely
Most people view anger as a negative emotion, but it is just one of a wide array of normal human feelings. Uncontrolled anger can have negative consequences on your interpersonal relationships and quality of life. However, being able to control and channel your anger in a positive direction will help you be more productive.
At its worst, anger can be incredibly frustrating and vexing, and it can become a tremendous obstacle to our success. At its best, however, anger is an emotion that can fuel us to great success and ultimately, even happiness–so long as we control the anger we feel, and don’t let it control us.
Anger can be a great performance enhancement mechanism. Fretting and fuming over losing your mobile phone charger is a waste of anger. Let’s say you lose a competition by a cinch and a little more effort from your side would have produced a different result. If this gets you all worked up and motivates you enough to work harder, then that is anger used for a good cause. This kind of response is what we aim to achieve when stuck in a situation where we lose our cool. You may have been warned a good many times about not sending a reply to that email when you are angry. This is because we cannot retract the contents of an email. It is deposited in their inbox for the receiver to see. An email sent, or a phone call made in visible anger would shroud your sensibility and make you say or do things that you would regret later. Be assertive and firm when you respond to that email which got you miffed in the first place. Choose your words carefully. Make sure that you have the ‘power’ when you confront the other person over a mistake committed. Be a gentleman. Be subtle but firm. But make sure you send your message across in the firmest way possible. Grit your teeth if that makes you feel better, it is all right.
What are the triggers that make you angry? Sit down, write on a piece of paper the things that make you all riled up. See if there are people who deliberately make you angry or situations that you run into often. After you realise what the things that peeve
you are, you would be much more in control of the things that make you act in a certain way. You should realise that there are various levels of anger ranging from mild irritation to rage. Identify these emotions when you get angry. You are intelligent enough to respond and not react. Be mindful of what is happening inside you. Talk yourself into responding wisely.
If you are angry at someone because they do not believe in your ability to do something, your best recourse is to prove them wrong. Instead of dwelling on the anger you feel towards the person, apply that extra energy to working towards proving yourself.
Showing a little anger or force in a business deal is stating your position assertively and not backing down. An example of a tantrum is slamming your hand on the desk, throwing paperwork, or storming out of the room if someone disagrees with you.
If you’re in bad position in life, whether you are stuck in a boring job or being in an unstable environment, use anger as motivation. Get so angry about your reality that it motivates you start hustling extra hard. Learn new things, get a new job, move out. Even if it’s not possible to do it right away, start preparing right away. Start saving money so you can invest in the future. Start expanding your skills so you can get a better job. Start reading and learning so you can think of better solutions.